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Joke of the Day

"Why was the piggy bank invented? To keep the jews away."

"Who wrote ""The Open Kimono""? ""? Seymour Hare."

"If I was a Quidditch player I'd be the Seeker, because I'm really, really good at doing basically nothing until the very end of something."

"If couples who are in love are called love birds, then really, couples who always fight should be called angry birds!"

"Death row last meal? Starfish. Eat a leg, it grows back. Sit back and enjoy a long life eating starfish legs in an electric chair."

"Hate it when pharmacy girls ask if I've ""Used this product before?"" Darling I've applied, swallowed & inserted every item ever sold here."

"I love how all the characters in kids shows are always SO thrilled while at work. Like Bob never gets pissed over a missing screwdriver."

"Did you hear about Trump's tax plan? Declare that the US has a $900 million loss so we all don't have to pay taxes!"

"Obama, The CIA, and Darpa walk into a bar... The End."

"My wife is a liar! Last night I texted her and asked here where she was, she said with her sister Emma. I was with her sister Emma!!"