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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about Trump's tax plan? Declare that the US has a $900 million loss so we all don't have to pay taxes!"

"Cell references in excel are like gold diggers. If you want them to stay in the same place you have to throw some money at them."

"3: *throws plate in sink Me: but you barely ate! 3: yeah, I'm full...what are you eating? Me: the same thing you had 3: can I have a bite?"

"Where does a Martian go for a drink? A Mars Bar"

"HR: You're late. Do you even know what time it is? Thor: Hammer time? HR: Get out."

"Graham has withdrawn from the Republican nomination race. Some people worry that he'll send his voters to Trump. All three of them."

"""I used to be the Internet!"" - The Library"

"How do you castrate a redneck? You kick his sister in the jaw."

"Why do Americans spell it as 'color' and not 'colour'? Because fuck u that's why."

"Go home North Korea, you're drunk."