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Joke of the Day

"This is yr brain. This is yr brain on drugs. *turns page* This is yr brain on the beach at Cancun! Awwww, yr brain on yr honeymoon. *turns p"

"*catches up to jogger while wearing the same outfit* good luck shaking the police off loser *sprints ahead while sirens can be heard*"

"Whenever my children question my knowledge on any subject, I just remind them that their mother is older than the Internet."

"What do you call a guy with diarrhea who just had his father committed to the insane asylum? A crap happy chappy with a slap happy pappy."

"Joanke Its an inside joke."

"I was tasked with ordering coffee supplies for the office... I sent an email to all the staff asking if they wanted flavored creamers or regular creamers. Their answers were half-and-half."

"How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? None, Change has to come from WITHIN!"

"I taped a slice of bread on the ceiling. And that's how you start a rave party in Ethiopia."

"Another Calculus Joke (Pun) Don't drink and derive!"

"I didn't want the cop to see that my car's registration tags weren't current but apparently swerving erratically got his attention too"