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Joke of the Day

"So my friend asks me... ... How do people get Bill from William? I tell him,""The same way you get dick from Richard."""

"The FineBros remind me of a movie villian... ...they revealed their master plan via monologue and were stopped before they could end the world."

"What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ? Ear we go !"

"I wanted to be a pilot in the air force But they said I didn't have the right altitude."

"Watson: ""Holmes, why are you wrapped in a thin aluminium sheet?"" Holmes: ""DAMMIT, FOILED AGAIN!"""

"I'm not an olympic sprinter, I just run like one when my ex wants to talk."

"My friend tried to get me with bird puns today... I told him toucan play that game."

"I'm trying to choose a Freudian therapist... ...but they're all sex of one, half a dozen of your mother."

"YOU ASKED IF YOU COULD PET HER, NOT IF SHE BITES, MEGAN."

"Donald Trump has been saying he will run for president as a Republican. Which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke."