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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me she bought a really sexy dress just for me. I'm planning on wearing it this Friday."

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"Today i asked my friend how hungover he was... He replied. ""Well on a scale of one to Amy Winehouse its not looking so good."""
"What's the difference between an oyster shucker with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits and the other fucks between shits."
"What happened to the NSFW warning on r/Jokes? It stopped working like all those who got caught on reddit at work."
"Whats long and hard and has cum in it ................... A cucumber :)"
"If life gives you melons... Check for dyslexia"
"The safe word is ""MMMBop."""
"What do you call gay sound waves? Faghertz"
"I told a newcomer in prison that the other inmates were heavily interested in astronomy. When asked what I meant, I said, ""They are particularly interested in Uranus, so you don't want to moon them."""
"When I die, scatter me across my ex's front lawn. Also, don't cremate me."
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