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Joke of the Day

"The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds I have no shame..."

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"If your victim freaks out when you pull a knife, politely sheath your blade and change the subject."
"And what's your name?"" the secretary asked the next new boy. ""Butter."" ""I hope your first name's not Roland"" smirked the secretary. ""No ma'am. It's Brendan."""
"What do you call a constipated German? *Farfrompoopin*"
"I loved John Hurt so much... that I'm not even going to make the joke that my heart John Hurts right now. Even though it would make me feel better."
"Marriage counsellor: What's the problem? Wife: He is so literal. It drives me mad. MC: And how do you feel, Stephen? Me: With my hands."
"Stand Up Comedy! (You add to other people's jokes in the comments) One guy comments about a joke below, and everybody else will add on to the joke or just relate to it in a comical way. Have fun !"
"Why was the A.I. afraid of instagram? post-upload skepticism"
"If a tree falls on a woman... And nobody is around to hear it. Why was there a tree in the kitchen?"
"My next girlfriend I am going to train like my dog. She will be loyal, obedient, and lick herself."