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Joke of the Day

"How to be Productive: 1.) Make a list 2.) Cross off the first thing on your list 3.) Reward yourself with a nap"

"Can a ninja bring a ninja star into the airport? Shuriken."

"How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? This change'll be fantastic. It'll be great. You won't believe how great this change will be."

"What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke? Diet coke has better advertising."

"Why don't black cops shoot unarmed white kids? Because they'd get in trouble."

"Why was Helen Keller so good at fingering herself? She was good reading lips."

"What does Neil Degrasse Tyson call orgies... ...the big bang courtesy of reds"

"Why can't witches get pregnant? Because all their husbands have Halloween-ies!"

"I will do a lot of things but admiting I'm cold to my mom when she told me to bring a jacket is not one."

"You know why the fiscal year ends in March and not December? Because the next year starts with April Fools' day."