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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blowjob from a ginger? Redhead"

"I sexually identify as a brick. I'm always hard and I've only been laid once."

"Hipster fire department unable to make building cool."

"What do you call a big beefy doctor who also studies the weather in his spare time? A Meaty-urologist. ^^Don't^^shoot^^me^^..."

"mailman: ahhh nothing quite like returning home from a long day delivering m- [gets attacked by his own dog]"

"why does looking at animals covered in oil make me sad, but looking at animals covered in oil and deep-fried make me hungry?"

"Whenever I have sex, it's always a race to see who cums first.... Me or the police."

"Thanks for the glitter covered greeting card. I'll never forget this gesture because EVERY SURFACE IN MY HOUSE IS COVERED IN GLITTER NOW"

"Last night I dreamed about eating a huge cotton candy. When I woke up, my pillow was missing."

"The town emergency siren sounds. I peer out my bedroom window. ""It can't be"" I mutter. ""Honey, grab the kids. Hot local singles are coming."""