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Joke of the Day

"Thanks for the glitter covered greeting card. I'll never forget this gesture because EVERY SURFACE IN MY HOUSE IS COVERED IN GLITTER NOW"

"What do you feed an invisible cat? Evaporated milk."

"Europe must have a detergent based economy.. ..because it's tough on Greece."

"What do you call a potato Kim jong un dropped in his lap? A dicktator."

"I love rock and roll so put another dime in the juke box baby... then add ninety more cents to play one song."

"A perfect breakfast my perfect breakfast: my son on a box of wheaties, my girlfriend on the cover of playboy,my wife on the back of a milk carton..."

"Why do rapists make great salesmen? They just can't take no for an answer. For the record I don't condone rape."

"I don't understand how there can be different shoe sizes. I mean, everyone's feet are a foot long."

"Not a single one of my girlfriends has stuck around to see how many old school WWF finishing moves I know."

"That's a nice sham you've got there... It'd be a shame if somebody added an e"