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Joke of the Day

"*job interview* ""Where do you see yourself in five years?"" ""Mirrors, puddles of water. Basically anything with a reflective surface."""

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"MAMA DUCK, BABY DUCK Q: What did did the mother duck say to her duckling? A: ""If you don't behave, I'm gonna quack you one."""
"Why was the programmer lonely? Off-by-one error. :("
"I don't have a Facebook or Twitter account... ...so I just go around announcing out loud what I'm doing at random times. I've got 3 followers so far, but I think 2 are cops."
"What do you call a guy who likes telling ""dad jokes""? A ""groan"" man..."
"Transgender people are the key, to finally finding out... ... Which is worse, manflu or childbirth?"
"Why did Tupac go to the gym? To get a sixpac! (Thank you 7th grade me)"
"[waffle house] Waitress: how do u like your eggs Me: hatched and with their families W: no how do u like them cooked M: [spits out coffee]"
"Q: Why did the blonde guy ask his girlfriend to squeeze his left testicle? A: Because the road sign said 'Squeeze Left.'"
"Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of ""Polish Remover""."