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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a sad Ent? Mourning wood."

"Very Cheesy Joke Friend : Hey dude did you see that thing i posted on /r/pcmasterrace? Me : Yeah I ""readit"" (reddit)"

"My wife said sex with me is like enjoying a piece of Fruit Stripes gum... The best 3 seconds of her life."

"how many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? it doesnt matter.....they just beat the shit out of the walls for being black."

"The cat licks itself and it's cute. I do it and I'm ""no longer allowed in the library""."

"I want to get a life coach so I can pour Gatorade on him when I do well."

"[hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital"

"Exercise, the poor man's plastic surgery."

"""There's plenty of fish in the sea"" is just something people say because you're going to be alone. Fishing is something you can do alone."

"What do you call an road construction aardvark? A tarredvark!"