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Joke of the Day
"My friend lives on a court with a sign, ""No outlet."" I wonder where he plugs in his TV?"
Next Joke
"what idiot called it ""alphabet soup"" instead of ""times new ramen""?"
"My roommate gets angry when I steal their kitchen utensils It's a whisk I'm willing to take"
"Thought it would be romantic to serenade this girl with some Elvis. I swear that's the last time I sing ""You ain't nothin but a hound dog"""
"Women belong in the house... ...and the senate too"
"A C-string walks into a bar... A C-string walks into a bar and points to a char next to a float. ""Can I join you?"" he asks. The float replies ""You're not my type"" and orders a double."
"Having a wife and daughters, I try bottles in the shower until I find one that doesn't burn my balls and wash myself all over with that one."
"Those signs that say ""Slow children playing"" When they grow up become ""Slow men working"""
"How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two."
"Me: You wanna have sex tonight? GF: I'm not in the mood babe. Me: Hold on a second. I'm on the phone."