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Joke of the Day

"Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk."

"I really think Miracle Whip lowered the bar for what constitutes a miracle."

"I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel's program ""Deadliest Catch"" wasn't about first marriages."

"I've had a really bad day. First, my wife got ran over by a bus. Then, I lost my job as a bus driver."

"I've requested to be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti so that a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work."

"Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money."

"How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1) put some earbuds in your pocket 2) wait one minute"

"Someone keeps downvoting my racist jokes. It's like a ton of black people suddenly got laptops or something."

"Daniel said his mother had one foot in the grave The other one had proved to difficult for workers to scrape off the motorway"

"I know how to feed a nation...but will she eat it?"