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Joke of the Day

"Someone keeps downvoting my racist jokes. It's like a ton of black people suddenly got laptops or something."

"What are the other letters of the alphabet? Nazis."

"The trouble with jokes about herbal tea... Is that you can see the punchline camomile away."

"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family."

"Health tip: There's never a 'safe' time to shake a teenage boy's hand. Never."

"You can get a free carton of ice cream at the grocery store if you eat the whole thing before the cops show up."

"I used to curcumcise elephants. The pay wasn't very good, but the tips were huge."

"My sister told the police that I mistreat my pets. My own little sister! I guess that's the thanks I get for giving her a goldfish necklace."

"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word? And 'entruncated'? How about 'monosyllabic'? Who's running this language?"

"What job pays you to shoot people but not harm them? A photographer."