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Joke of the Day

"I've requested to be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti so that a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work."

"Bruce Willis pours a can of Red Bull onto his flower bed then drinks 8 gallons of water out of a watering can before realising his mistake"

"My girlfriend and I met at our office outside the bathroom... Now we tell others we met on PeeHarmony."

"Engineers How do you tell if an engineer is an extrovert? They look at *your* shoes while they talk to you."

"Instead of looking for things that divide you look for things that bring you together, like the way you all look for things that divide you."

"Do you know what the square root of 69 is? Ate something. (8.xxxxxxx....)"

"Southeast Asia isn't known for their wine. But I'll never say no to a Filipino Grigio"

"Just saw a coyote next to the highway. I hope this tunnel ahead isn't just painted on."

"Before you move to Canada after Trump gets elected, just know that it's May 13th and it's currently snowing here."

"Why are poodles suspicious of strangers? Because they're afraid of running into a poodaphile."