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Joke of the Day

"If human smiths make tempered steel... do dwarven ones make short-tempered steel?"

"Gay guys don't listen to girls talk either, but we do have the good sense to say ""I know, right?!"" while we wait for our turn to talk."

"I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes and try to pass them off as my own. I still do, but I used to too."

"What do you call a person who got straight ""D's"" in medical school? A Doctor."

"Give them a Cheesecake Factory gift card this holiday season so they know you ""grocery store checkout line"" love them"

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But don't ask me how they got in there."

"Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but I hear the reception was excellent."

"The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake- you can't learn anything from being perfect."

"What is a pirates favorite letter? Many think it's R, but his first love be the C."

"When a woman says, ""We need to talk"", it's no good. Never has a woman said, ""We need to talk"" and followed it up with ""about pillow forts""."