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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me."

Next Joke
 
"What do you call hand warmers scattered throughout a room? Intermittens."
"Is it offensive to refer to Egyptians as ""mummies""?"
"Where does an ape sleep? In an apricot."
"I like my women like I like my coffee Without some other guy's dick in em"
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Lumberjack Barbie ...sleeps all night works all day"
"What do you call a sad asparagus? Despairagus =/"
"Some call it drug abuse. I say the drugs get what they deserve."
"ME: Would you ever get a tattoo? DAD: I don't even highlight in books"
"Did you hear about the Alaska native that didn't like fish? Yeah, he just wasn't inuit."