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Joke of the Day
"Happy Mothers Day to all of the moms out there! Scared you didn't I?"
Next Joke
"People who take things literally on twitter, stop. Wait. First take this tweet literally, then stop."
"Prince Charming: I will awaken her with love's sweet ki-- Sleeping Beauty: five more minutes"
"Ladies, are you having wine? Don't be shy. Let us know about it on all of your social media websites."
"This guy's ""game"" is so bad, He can't get pussy from a dead cat."
"A woman walks into a hospital... for a routine checkup on her pregnancy. The nurse looks at her file and says ""Oh! Twins! Were they spontaneous?"" The woman replies ""No, we had sex first."""
"Like Rachel Dolezal, I too have been pretending to be something I'm not. For years, I've pretended to be white, when I'm actually a ladder."
"Siri, when does the restraining order expire?"
"If a shark attacks you, punch him in the nose. And if that doesn't work, use your severed arm to tickle his belly."
"What's the difference between Reddit CEO Ellen Pao, and Yoko Ono? .....about 40 years."