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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear the one about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stays up all night wondering if dog exists."

"Frozen pizza recalled? The government appears to have changed tactics to combat drug users: Legalize pot, but take away their food."

"When men and women argue who's the most stubborn... Then men concede they are are, because they just don't want to argue this anymore."

"Are you Russian? Cause I'll be Putin my dick in your mouth tonight. (Don't use as a pick up line doesn't work)"

"What's the difference between a gorrila pit and Mordor? One does not simply walk into Mordor"

"What kind of nuts go on a carrot cake? First time posting to r/baking."

"Did you hear about the transformer who lost his ability to change into a seven-sided shape? He's a de-septagon."

"I know blood in horror movies is just corn syrup, but it's still terrifying because at this point, that's basically all my blood is"

"What do you call a dog with no legs?... It doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come."

"When one door closes another one opens. I should really get this cabinet fixed."