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Joke of the Day

"I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!"

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"A Mosquito landed on my wife's face... Easiest decision of my life."
"What is the similarity between a weiner and a Rubik's Cube? The more you twist them the harder they get."
"American nuclear response time is around four minutes. But eight minutes if you are using a cigar on a naked intern."
"A car salesman says to me... ""Buy this car and pay no interest for a year!"" ""That's stupid"". I said, ""why the hell would I buy something that I'm not going to be interested in for an entire year?!"""
"Apparently Hooters is a great place to meet single dads on a Sunday."
"I really gotta quit drinking. Last night I got so wasted I blew chunks for hours... Chunks is my 4 year old bulldog."
"What's the ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter? Eskimo pi."
"Where do you hide if you kill a black man? Behind a badge."
"Why do chemists go to the gym so much? Before they titrate, they need to get buffer!"