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Joke of the Day

"American nuclear response time is around four minutes. But eight minutes if you are using a cigar on a naked intern."

"CNN: Trump removes screaming baby from rally Fox News: Trump rally interrupted by another unruly, entitled protestor who still lives at home"

"""Will he ever wake up?"" He's been in a coma for 3 weeks but watch this. *starts playing Pitbull* *patient wakes up to turn off the music*"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The bitch can suck my dick in the dark for all I care...."

"Do girls in Asia get tattoos in English on their backs?"

"An angry husband returned home one night to find his wife in bed with a naked man. 'What are you doing' he shouted. To which his wife said to her lover 'See I told you he was stupid'"

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable? His wheelchair"

"If spiders ever figure out how to become ghosts, we're screwed."

"I told my boyfriend to ""Stop paying games with my card"" He said shut up!, i hate Backstreet boys."

"Who took care of German army dogs after the war? Veteran Aryans"