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Joke of the Day

"There's a couple sitting next to each other Wife: I will make you the happiest person on earth Husband: I will miss you"

"What's it called when you have decided to stop eating cold turkey sandwiches?"

"Turns out my date had a lot of pizzazz, not pizzas. I've never been more disappointed."

"I was in a gang once. We wore blue, traveled in packs, and ruled our turf with shiny instruments...wait. Band. I was in the marching band."

"A frittata is just an omelette that studied abroad for a year in college."

"What does an Italian cow say when he gets an extra delivery of hay to the barn? That's amorehay!"

"do you know? Did you know It takes the average American male approximately 4 minutes to have an orgasm. Do you know how long it takes the average woman? Who fucking cares."

"Pro Tip - If a hot sexy female sends you a friend request on facebook.. REJECT HIM."

"a girl poop says to a boy poop ""ew, did you just fart?"" ""no we both smell like shit remember cause were poops"""

"A guy runs into a bar at light speed and asks the bartender for whatever's on tap. Thirty seconds later, the bartender asks he wants to drink."