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Joke of the Day

"Normal people flirting: Hey you're cute we should go out sometime Me flirting: So do you like bread"

"Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward."

"What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table"

"LAWYER 1: numbers never lie so I call numbers to the stand LAWYER 2: your honor I call shakiras hips to the stand JUDGE: damn lol"

"MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism."

"College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they'll send your kid back."

"I need to find out what my company needs to do in order to get protests by topless women."

"My ex-wife still misses me... but her aim is gettin' better!"

"Apple scraps a new product... I've heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's-oriented IPod after realizing that ""ITouch Kids"" is not a good product name."

"In other news.... We now have the most attractive First Lady since Marilyn Monroe."