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Joke of the Day

"How many passive aggressive people does it take to change a light bulb? Don't bother, I'll do it myself."

"What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain? In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex."

"Whenever I fondle breasts, they fall off. It's true, I fell tit with my own hand."

"What did the shirt say to the pants? What's up, britches."

"3 things that happened today 1. My friend says he hates reddit 2. My friend gets hit by a bus 3. I loose my bus driver license"

"A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then peppery spray by the police... he is now a seasoned veteran"

"I was in Brazil last night, and 3 women approached me and wanted to have sex. It was like winning the lottery. 6 matching balls."

"I like my women like I like my soup... With most of the skin removed."

"What cell phone service do Stormtroopers use? AT & AT."

"I bet when something really awesome happens to a dung beetle they say ""Oh, shit!"""