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Joke of the Day

"Went out last night, i got so wasted that when i got home apparently i blew chunks. Chunks is my dogs name."

"Turns out those miniature liquor bottles aren't for babies and now my brother says I can't be the God Mother."

"My friend is like a Jew during WWII In the closet."

"How do you titillate an ocelot? You oscillate its tit a lot."

"What do you call a bundle of hay in a church? Christian Bale."

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

"Losing an Electric Drill by Andy Gadget"

"9/11 jokes aren't funny... My dad died on 9/11. I still remember his last words ""ALLAHU AKBAR""."

"if seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay? bagels"

"I just ate wood chips covered in lead-based paint... Hopefully I'll ""number 2"" a pencil."