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Joke of the Day

"The next terrorist attack has apparently been launched in the stall next to me in this Target bathroom."

"I fought the law, and it turns out they have better resources than I do."

"I just flew into town and boy are my arms tired! Get it? Because, I've been jerking off on the plane..."

"Three variations of ""Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals."" http://puu.sh/aTYoy/2e4a5f69b8.png"

"If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped What's a tiger ? A stri-ped !"

"At first, I never understood why my parents had a bitter relationship Until I realized my birthday was 9 months after my dad's..."

"My new truck is older than my girlfriend... Its ok though a 12 year old truck still has a lot if life left."

"If it looks like I'm typing for five minutes I'm really just trying to spell diarrhea."

"I was reminiscing at my old school's library... looking back at my shelf."

"Born Too Late To Explore The Earth, Born too early to explore the galaxy, Born at just the right time to have sex with virtual reality anime chicks."