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Joke of the Day

"At first, I never understood why my parents had a bitter relationship Until I realized my birthday was 9 months after my dad's..."

"Sometimes you check the amount of subscribed people. When you do this, there are 4,111,093,0003.666 ""humorists"". 2/3rds of a person? Really?"

"""I hope they bought enough beer so they won't notice how much I'm drinking"" -My prayer as I pull into my parents driveway"

"My teen was complaining he had no clean clothes so I asked him what he thought he should do: ""Uh, go buy new clothes?"" Have kids. It's fun."

"Why did the polygons of Geometric Grove disapprove of their new triangle neighbor? He was a degenerate triangle."

"Donalds trumps presidential campaign"

"A classic from when we were kids A man walks into a bar... And says ""Ow!"""

"I saw my neighbour jogging at 1am this morning and said ""It's a bit late for you Kathy, isn't it ?"". She said ""I couldn't sleep"". I said ""That's not what I meant, you fat b*tch""...."

"Don't eat royal sausage in Vietnamese noodle soup Trust me, it's the Pho King Wurst"

"Why don't orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to"