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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people say that I don't like black people I love black people if I could I wold buy myself a few (I'm not a racist in real life though)"

"I used to have some jokes concerning noble gasses... but they're argon."

"What did the socialists use before candles? Electricity"

"What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant ? About 3000 miles !"

"U2 just announced their world tour. Do I need to buy tickets or are they going to break into my house and start playing?"

"I will put you in your place. -me to everything because OCD"

"If your wife is Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in."

"[kisses daughter goodnight] Sleep tight. ""Daddy, where do babies come from?"" Um, the Stork. [stork knocks on bedroom window] He's lying."

"Is it okay for men to sit down to pee? The manager of this sofa store doesn't seem to think so."

"why did the spy cross the road because he never really was on your side hold your applause."