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Joke of the Day

"Just broke my record for distance of ejaculation. I've cum a long way."

"New study shows you can get HIV/AIDS from toilet seats in public restrooms By sitting down before the other guy gets up"

"I was burgled last night, someone stole all my documents. I was de-filed."

"""Yeah, engage your core or whatever."" - impersonal trainer."

"Why do women have legs? Have you seen the mess that snails make?"

"Aliens who abducted a drunk Russian gave in... and let him drive for a bit."

"Why is it so hard to convict horse rapists? Because sometimes neigh means yay."

"What's fast and can breathe underwater? Not a toddler, I can tell you that"

"What do women and KFC have in common? One you are finished with the breast and the thighs, you still have a greasy box to put your bone"

"I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven..."