204196

Joke of the Day

"I burnt 1200 calories yesterday! Forgot to take the pizza out of the oven..."

"Know what a 6.9 is? Another good thing screwed over by a period"

"Geico could probably save you more than 15 percent if they stopped spending 95 billion dollars on advertising."

"What's a control freaks favorite macro? Control+U"

"How do you think the unthinkable? Run your thip into an ithberg"

"If a baby horse swears at it's mother, would this be classed as foal language?"

"A constipated woman once went 45 days without pooping It was a crowning achievement"

"I'm not going to intervene next time my kids start fighting, I'm just going to close the door and whoever comes out alive will be my kid"

"People change. Except for that homeless guy down the street. Pretty sure he's had the same clothes on since the 90's."

"How do we know God's not a woman? We're not sandwiches."