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Joke of the Day

"Why is mustard gas so dangerous? Because it was used in World War One to kill people."

"A lion walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave predicting the impending danger at hand."

"What do you call a flying Jedi? A skywalker. (I'm really sorry)"

"What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? Irene."

"Finally my winter fat is gone... Now I have spring rolls."

"I used to have a job crushing cans in a soft drink factory all day. It was soda pressing."

"My girlfriend always asks me to text her when I get in... That's how small my cock really is."

"I'd pray to God to help me with my overbearing KFC addiction, but seeing as the Colonel is my God, I can see that being counter-intuitive."

"I was watching a movie with my son the other day. He got scared and asked me, ""Daddy, is that woman really gonna die?"" I said, ""Judging by the size of that horse's cock, yes."""

"[Stock market crashes] ""Oh no, I better check on my investments!"" *opens cupboard over top of the sink* [1000s of Shrek dvds fall out]"