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Joke of the Day

"If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness."

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"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a crab with breast implants? One is a Crusty Bus Station and the other is a Busty Crustacean"
"Gravity is just the earth being really clingy"
"Dad Dragon: If we weren't supposed to eat them they wouldn't come w plates and toothpicks now finish ur damn knight Teen Dragon: I hate you"
"Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old? They can't lego of their childhood. Tell some more Lego puns, here!"
"When he's out driving where does Dracula like to stop and eat? The Happy Biter."
"If I'm ever on life support unplug me,, and then plug me back in again,, and see if that works."
"I just had to add ""velociraptor"" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something."
"I lost a few pounds today,... but when I lifted up my shirt I found them again."
"I just don't understand kids. My kid says he wants to play heavy metal. So why's he so mad at me? I bought him one of the best tubas money can buy!"