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Joke of the Day

"If you see me in court you'd think I was furiously taking notes, but 9 times out of 10, I'm usually drawing a t-rex eating a witness."

"Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!"

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman"

"My post on /r/bombs made the front page Edit: holy shit this blew up"

"Your girl's legs are like McDonalds breakfast....... OPEN 24/7 EDIT: Replaced pants with legs"

"A man died while masturbating The doctors said he died from a stroke."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The pizza doesn't scream in the oven"

"I was surprised while watching the presidential debate last night... I didn't know my TV had the comedy channel."

"I wanted to see how fast I could drive my new car down Main Street. I managed to hit 60 before getting pulled over. Most of them survived with only minor injuries."

"Once you learn about confirmation bias... ...you start seeing it everywhere!"