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Joke of the Day

"On the toilet for 20 minutes. Wish you were here."

"What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD? One is a cunning runt."

"When I Die I want my remains to be scattered at Disneyland. I also don't want to be cremated."

"Why do flower beds have mulch? So you can't see their underplants."

"I ordered an Asian Hooker, she arrived 2 hours late She loves me wrong time."

"Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements? Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium. (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)"

"What did the porn star put at the end of their resume? Sexual references."

"If you woke up in the woods with your pants at your ankles, a condom in your ass, and no recollection of the last 24 hours, would you tell anyone? Wanna go camping?"

"Why did the nazi work in the animal hospital after the war? He was a veteran Aryan."

"*makes doctors appointment* *arrives 20 minutes early* *waits in doctors office for 7 hours*"