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Joke of the Day

"If you woke up in the woods with your pants at your ankles, a condom in your ass, and no recollection of the last 24 hours, would you tell anyone? Wanna go camping?"

"Why can hipsters listen to Michael Jackson again? He's been underground for five years now."

"[on game show] Choose a door for a goat or a new car ""I'll take door #2"" You've won the car! *sees it's a Kia* ""Can I have the goat instead"""

"Why did Hitler buy the car when it went on sale? Because he liked the holocost."

"What are the most fucked up jokes you have? Mine is: How do you make a scout cry twice? You wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear."

"I've never literally been tortured but I have walked behind old people when I was in a hurry."

"""I may be fat, but you're ugly I can lose weight!"""

"Did you hear about the geometry teacher who tried to take a selfie? It was a protracted process but eventually he found the right angle."

"How do you call a 100 m race between siamese twins? Head to head race"

"The Energizer Bunny was arrested this morning. Have you heard about this? Yeah, police say he was charged with battery."