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Joke of the Day
"What type of jeans do the Mario Brothers wear? Denim denim denim"
Next Joke
"I've missed the last 50 years of ""Doctor Who."" Can somebody quickly catch me up?"
"No thanks, body wraps. If I believed magic would make me thinner, I'd eat a wizard."
"Apparently in yoga when the instructor says, 'next we go into our downward dog,' it is frowned upon to make the 'bowchickabowow' sound."
"I'm technically 5'11"" but whenever people ask I just say I'm 6'0"". I do it for the same reason I tell people I have a four inch penis - what's an extra inch, anyway?"
"What's the number for poison control? Dancing With the Stars is on and I need to make sure this will be enough."
"""Thanks for turning me into an expression of contempt. Sorry about making delicious nourishment so damned accessible."" -Low-hanging fruit"
"I used to have a drinking problem. I still do, but I used to, too."
"If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?"
"What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast? I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch."