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Joke of the Day

"Son: Dad, what does 'gay' means?... Father: It means 'to be happy'. &nbsp; Son: Are you gay? &nbsp; Father: No, son. I have a wife."

"If you want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with ""I shouldn't be telling you this"""

"If your opponent cracks his knuckles before a fight, have comfort knowing that osteoarthritis will, in due time, avenge your savage beating."

"They say: Dance like there's nobody watching, sing like there's nobody listening. But non of them are there to vouch for you when you end up in an insane asylum."

"What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat? The wheelchair."

"Hilary should change her name to Monica. NSFW She obviously wants the next presidents dick in her mouth the way she steals his rhetoric"

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Mike rolled around in the mud. Wanna hear a clean joke? Mike took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a sexy joke? Bubbles is the girl next door."

"Benedict Cumberpatch's full name is Benedictionary Cucumbercabbagepatch."

"NY Friend: ""You're in LA, you don't have to shovel anything!"" Me: ""Yeah? These heaps of broken dreams wont get off the sidewalk themselves."""

"I was arrested for indecent exposure, but, sadly, released for lack of evidence."