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Joke of the Day

"Why did the black person cross the road? To fry the chicken."

"My Uncle When I was a young boy, my Uncle would always tell me ""Always leave them wanting more"" Which is probably why he lost his job in famine relief."

"if squids were land animals sometimes you'd be walking along and you'd look up and BAM squid in a tree"

"People who say age is just a number fundamentally don't get numbers and that's why I always borrow money from them."

"Cat 911: What's your emergency? Cat: I knocked everything off the tables now I'm scared! Cat 911: Seriously? Cat: No, LOL! Cat 911: LOL!"

"How does Donald Trump plan to get rid of illegal Mexican fans of Stars Wars? Obi Juan by Juan Kenobi"

"[Me]: What's a snowman's favorite drink? [Bartender]: idk [Me]: Brrrr-bon lol [Bartender]: ... [Me]: jk snowmen don't drink they aren't real"

"It's only an overdose if you're dead."

"My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth"

"I had to perform CPR on my girlfriend during sex last night. When she's half-inflated it's just not the same."