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Joke of the Day

"REPUBLICANS: I can't believe Trump won. DEMOCRATS: I can't believe Hillary lost. ME: I can't believe it's not butter!"

"I went to a gay bar. As I sat down to order a drink, I went to a gay bar. As I sat down to order a drink, a kind gentleman approached and offered to push my stool in."

"So my friend is dating twins... ...And I said, ""Isn't it hard to tell them appart?"" He replied with, ""Well not really, the brother has a moustache."""

"When people tell me ""You're gonna regret that in the morning"" I sleep in til noon, because I'm a problem Solver"

"What'd you call a German businessman? An enterpreNeuer."

"IDGAF if you're black, white, yellow, brown or blue. Well, I do if you're blue, I'll stop and give you CPR if you're blue."

"It was really hard for me to get over my addiction to the hokey cokey. But i've turned myself around, and that's what it's all about."

"How many handicapped guys does it take to change a light bulb? Just one if it's Professor X."

"Did you guys hear about that weird snapchat knockoff that only lets you send pictures of sausages? It has the wurst ratings."

"my career as a Walmart greeter was cut short when the manager noticed me singing ""Welcome to the Jungle"" to every customer"