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Joke of the Day

"How many handicapped guys does it take to change a light bulb? Just one if it's Professor X."

"What were the last words of king Laius? ""Mother fucker."""

"Why is Simba slower that his dad? Because his papa mufasa."

"Got kicked out of the grocery store. Apparently yelling ""LET THE BEETS DROP!"" And throwing them at the ground is not acceptable."

"Why do most car accidents happen when men are drunk? Because their wives are driving."

"This woman walked into a bar... and asked the barman for a double entendre. So he gave it to her."

"I had an awkward moment with my english teacher. Apparently pathetic fallacy has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction."

"Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot? One's a marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift"

"Why does Donkey Kong brush his teeth? To prevent tooth DK."

"I make out with a squirrel at a party one time, and now everyone is scared of me? That's just ridiculous, he was dead for at least 2 hours."