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Joke of the Day

"*puts stethoscope up to chest* Dr: I dont hear..U don't have a heart Karen ""Did my ex Kyle put u up to this?"" *Im in the bushes giggling*"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The Wheelchair"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant? A: A mad scientist."

"What do you call an angry, seafaring mathematician? -rate!!!"

"What if your pillow could collect your dreams and when you wake up you plug it into your computer and watch them over again..."

"NPR recently started a heavy metal band. 'All Things Dismembered'"

"What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a homosexual? A megasauranus."

"I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."

"Many people are surprised by the engagement of Serena Williams and Alexis Ohanian, but not me. If I founded reddit I'd be searching for better servers too."

"Easily the best knock knock joke for a Dad. Dad: Say Knock knock Son: Knock Knock Dad: Whose there? Son:..."