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Joke of the Day

"*puts stethoscope up to chest* Dr: I dont hear..U don't have a heart Karen ""Did my ex Kyle put u up to this?"" *Im in the bushes giggling*"

"Hipsters only listen to songs like Surfin' Bird by the Trashmen You've probably never heard of it."

"Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds."

"Life is Like a Penis Simple, soft, and relaxed - then women make it hard."

"I can't tell if Michael Cera is actually an actor, or just an awkward guy who keeps wandering onto film sets and does his best to fit in."

"Boxing is probably the most applicable martial art to the street... If you run away, you probably won't get hit."

"Why is the Ocean Salty? Because the Beach didn't wave back."

"Your best ""Your pussy's so..."" Your pussy's so wrinkled I mistook it for an antique coin purse."

"A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, ""Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor replied, ""I know, I amputated your arms!"""

"What do you call a baby born at 4 months gestation? Doesn't matter, still born."