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Joke of the Day

"I can't tell if Michael Cera is actually an actor, or just an awkward guy who keeps wandering onto film sets and does his best to fit in."

"What is something that is brown and sticky? A stick."

"Q: What's the difference between an onion and an accordion? A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion."

"What did the fish say when he crashed into the wall? Fuck!"

"Art Teacher: your drawings are due tomorrow me: [hours later] maybe add in some grapes police sketch artist: ..a bowl of fruit attacked you?"

"Now I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger... But she did move to California in 1849"

"What is the worst part about screwing a 7 year old kid? Getting the blood stains out of your clown costume."

"Doctor: Open your mouth (inserts tongue depressor) Me: Mmm, this tastes good. Dr: You should have tasted it when the Popcicle was on it!"

"What is big, vibrates and makes a woman scream when put inside her? A chainsaw."

"You know what they say, when you go darkskin... they steal your car."