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Joke of the Day
"What did the sign on the closed brothel say? Beat it. We're closed"
Next Joke
"Science fact! There is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house. This is largely due to the antelope's powerful hind-legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump."
"The definition of a fart...as told by a 60 year old woman I work with. A turd honking for its right of way!"
"*clicks on hotel tv's Adult Zone* ""Oh hell yeah."" *it's just a bunch of people paying bills and doing yard work* ""...Oh hell yeah."""
"One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I'm going to visit."
"What did the large furry mammal say when the salamander who kept asking for favors went too far? I can't bear it! You axolotl of me this time!"
"I went to the doctor because my hearing problem The doctor said 'Can you describe the symptoms?' I said 'Yeah, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair'"
"Knock knock. Whose there? Doctor. Doctor who? Oh. You watch that show too?"
"My wife and I were happy for 22 years...... Then we met!"
"I only buy expensive baby food with cute babies on the label because I'm willing to pay extra if it means my kids aren't eating ugly babies."