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Joke of the Day

"Science fact! There is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house. This is largely due to the antelope's powerful hind-legs and the fact that the average house cannot jump."

"Girlfriend went to the neurologist to get a brain scan yesterday. Nothing showed up."

"Of all the millions of candidates in history, it figures that Hitler would be the one to keep his campaign promises."

"""Are you coming over?"" ""Yes, I'm coming over."" ""We should probably stop talking using the radios, over."""

"I've just been dumped by my girlfriend. She found me creepy because I have a nickname for my penis. Guess now that I'm single again, I'll have to take Matters into my own hands."

"Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a shit."

"When life gives you lemons... Just be glad it's not AIDS"

"Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd Never Forget"

"There's a new show on Broadway based on the dictionary It's a play on words"

"What do you say when you friendzone a brony? Friendship is magic."