126398

Joke of the Day

"How to make microwave popcorn: 2 minutes 27 seconds-half bag popped. 2 minutes 29 seconds-MICROWAVE ON FIRE."

"I've got writer's bl I've got writer'ssssss somethinnnn somethin Writer's blah blah blah blah I'm going to get coffee."

"human skin boots My friend paid $4,000 for human skin boots and pants. I told him how stupid that was--he could have had the same thing in black for $29."

"What do you call the process of creatively making drip coffee? Arts and carafes."

"It's OK, batteries...no one includes me either."

"The reason Patrick is always clueless Is because he lives under a rock."

"When girls ask if I'm good in bed, I tell them ""Of course, how hard is it to close your eyes and literally do nothing for 8 hours""."

"I love blowing Leafs in this beautiful Fall weather. Leafs Anderson, he is a real stand up guy."

"My welcome mat says, ""Oh shit! Not you again!"""

"Why should you date a Greek woman? They don't like pulling out."