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Joke of the Day

"When girls ask if I'm good in bed, I tell them ""Of course, how hard is it to close your eyes and literally do nothing for 8 hours""."

"What is Hitler's favorite letter in the alphabet? I don't know, but it's definitely not z's!!!"

"How do you know if a redneck girl is a virgin? See if she can run faster than her brothers."

"Did you hear about the guy who got chilled to absolute zero? Hes 0K now."

"My Dad voted Republican his entire life. After he died he voted Democrat"

"[think of idiom] firing on all cylinders [post tweet w/ idiom + literal interpretation] mr. on all cylinders, ur fired [wait for 100+ faves]"

"They put babies on packages of toilet paper because that's what we used to wipe with before scientists discovered they grow up into people"

"I once went out with a girl who worked with bees My friends said she was a keeper"

"I want to open a drinking establishment without any furniture. It'll be the best around, Bar None."

"Why did the man keep reloading the picture of the candy cane at the potluck? He was in charge of refresh mints."