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Joke of the Day

"I've got writer's bl I've got writer'ssssss somethinnnn somethin Writer's blah blah blah blah I'm going to get coffee."

"Fun prank: tell your kid World War II ended by the Americans dropping an F-bomb on Japan. Then later when his teacher calls, act shocked."

"I finally found a book where the love interest is a grandfather clock It's about fucking time"

"I've given up on cooking. It always starts off well. Then it just turns to shit."

"It's as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before."

"Speaking of lent some of you mofos owe me money"

"I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger."

"A friend of mine accused me of having a scat fetish Fuck that shit."

"Girls hope you celebrated Valentines Day responsibly, or you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward"

"How do you know if someone has run a marathon? Don't worry, they'll tell you."