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Joke of the Day

"Him:Wow you came back from your run in record time... Me:It's amazing how fast you can go if you imagine your mother is chasing you..."

"TUMS HAS ANYONE ELSE REALIZED THAT TUMS SPELLED BACKWARDS IS SMUT? WELL, IN ADVERTIZING THEY SAY SEX SELLS"

"What do you call a well read/researched Bernie Sanders supporter? Not a Bernie Sanders supporter."

"Why is the African Justice System so flawed? Because there's too many *hung* juries."

"[pours a bag of sugar over a tire fire] hmmm [tastes remnants] i think i'll call it... Twizzlers"

"Dead babies and rocks What is the difference between a dead baby and a rock? You can't Fuck a rock"

"The doctors rushed quickly to remove the bullet which was lodged in his artery... But it turns out it was all in vain"

"Have a girl that everyone else dreams about, but don't dream about a girl that everyone else has."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Boris ! Boris who ? Boris with more knock knock jokes !"

"Why is it that whenever you complement someone on their mustache... suddenly she's not your friend anymore?"