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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a very religious person who sleep walks? A Roman Catholic."

"I decided to leave work an hour early today You should have seen the look on the co-pilot's face when I grabbed that parachute."

"I've probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator"

"Why did the Farmer win a Nobel-Prize? Because he was outstanding in his field"

"Sorry I have been gone for the last two days, my son had a quick story to tell me"

"WIFE: You said you were going to put the dog down ME: *in tears* I TRIED BUT HE HAD SOME REALLY DEVASTATING COMEBACKS"

"So Jesus walks into a hotel... he puts three nails on the counter and says, ""Hey, can you put me up for the night?"""

"When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water."

"How Many Tourettes Sufferers Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb? Penis."

"Drinking Bud Light is like having sex on a canoe. Cause it's fucking close to water."