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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off before jumping on a trampoline"

"Cereal is the sweatpants of food."

"I found out it was snowing by looking outside. WTF Twitter? You are suppossed to tell me these things first."

"[Mary Magdalene, in bed with someone else after Jesus dies] Him: You said his name again."

"Why couldn't the NSA go outside? They were Snowden."

"I was so happy it only took me seven days to complete this puzzle! The box said it would take 2-4 years."

"I'm taking my kid to an aquarium today. (I'm putting my kid in the closet with Sponge Bob videos)"

"I tried Tylenol for the first time today. It tasted a lot like cotton."

"Why do Scarecrows Make Great Rocket Scientists? ...because they're out-standing in their field!"

"I can't stand anti-semitic jokes Anne Frankly, I think no one should support them."