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Joke of the Day

"I was so happy it only took me seven days to complete this puzzle! The box said it would take 2-4 years."

"My wife's birthday is in two days, and she told me ""Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring"". So I bought her nothing."

"I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots."

"What's the difference between an oral, and rectal thermometer? The taste."

"What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I'ma get get get get you a Neti Pot - a concerned vet to an elephant"

"Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog."

"i was one of the palm trees waving around in the background of every 16 bit game in the 90's so yes random guy you do know me from somewhere"

"How you can tell if a person is Irish: a fly lands in their pint of beer. They grab the fly and start shaking it over their beer yelling ""Spit it out ya bastard, spit it out!"""

"My girlfriend said to me that she wanted me to tease her, so I said, ""All right, fatty."""

"What do you call a duck that likes to steal? A Robber Ducky!"